Starting over with everything..

I lived and worked in Japan for a long time and have come back in a time of economic and ever present family drama to try and gain a foothold in my so-called home country. Armed with nothing but dog fur, a crappy car, a laptop that hates me, I try to see how far I can get.

Wednesday, November 30, 2005

Killer mosquitos and softball

Why the hell are there still mosquitos alive in December? How the hell do they live? I come home and they are hovering outside my door waiting for that oh so yummy and rare Am-Mex blood. Friggin' bastards. After and only after doing my kung-fu mosquito chops can I enter my house. I used to say that all mosquitos (just like all the men I meet) in Japan are sukebe- dirty and skeezy, because I would only have bites in very unusual places that I had no idea I'd left vulnerable. These winter mosquitos are a bit slower tho'. Thank goodness for that.

So, my day at work was extremely productive. Nothing like messing around on the internet all morning, grading 4 tests and playing softball the rest of the afternoon. Ah Japan. These are the kind of days I don't mind at work. I also love the fact that just because I'm American makes me a hot commodity team wise. I unfortunately got on the administrative team because me and the assistant principal have a budding relationship due to the yoga club and her recent addition. We had a team consisting of the ladies who serve tea and do the gardening and the people who sit in the office doing paperwork all day. We improved the second game, innings still went by in a flash. All and all it was a good day.

Men, the lowest life form...

Damn it all if men aren't the scum of the earth. I'm not even talking about my experiences with the a-holes I've come into contact recently. I have no idea whether there is an unusual positioning of the planets or if the water has been tainted recently but Jeebus if all the assholes in the world aren't coming out all at the same time to show their true colors. As if most women didn't have a low enough opinion of men, they have to go give us more reasons to want to be a lesbian.
Grrr, it's so infuriating. Liars should be strapped to large cacti, naked, in the cold. I think of all the men I've met in my life, a little computer geek who is married to a very good friend of mine is the only decent guy left in the world. I've confirmed this with others that know him too. Therefore it must be true, I asked three people. Crap, that's all I have to say crap.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Why I love Japan...

Despite my current foul mood and the pity party I've been throwing for myself as of late, I want to say I still love Japan, even though at times I feel like I'll go crazy because of it. Japan's onsens are faaaabulous. If you want to turn that frown upside-down, an onsen is just the thing. I'll miss them desperately when I leave. For those who wonder when I might leave... I still have no answer, but I'll hopefully have one in January or so.
Oooo, there is nothing better after you've been worn out and beaten by your day. I highly recommend public nudity in this fashion for those of you who are timid or may not have had the chance of getting nekkid in public.

Nubes

I feel like my head is in the clouds as of late. That's partial due to my cold/TB-like symptoms but mostly due to my mental state of mind which is seemingly dodging in and out of lucidity whenever it damn well pleases. I find myself walking aimlessly around and around my apartment or grocery store. I have waves of emotion from happy for no good damn reason to wanting to ball my eyes out and wanting to get sick simultaneously. I can't explain why, but I tell ya, I'm damn sick of it. I have some serious negative energy balled up in me or something and I can't find a way to get it out. I can't even cry anymore, my body is too tired or I have no tears left.

Ugh! I'm sick of this and I'm hoping that maybe it will just up and go away. I need a vacation more than anything right now. Quiero caminar con el proposito de ir algun lado. Quiero senir algo mas que vacio. Siento como estoy en un pozo y ni me importa que estoy alli hogando con el puro aire. Ay de mi. Ni modo...

I had a good time this weekend, but it was a strange good time, I'm guessing due to the haze I'm feeling. I organized a Thanksgiving at another teacher's house. About 15 people came. We did it potluck style and there was waaaaay too much food to gorge myself on. I had a good time tho'. Yesterday, I went to my friend Cecilia's bar and there was live latino music and food. It was all very nice, but strange. I guess I felt it was so out of place, it gets confusing to have familar things in some place so unfamiliar. It was very beautiful, mom you would have loved it. Anyway, I have to get going.

Saturday, November 26, 2005

Kyoto trip in August


These are some pictures of my trip with Gabe to Kyoto in August. They are beautiful but they don't depict how hot it was there that time of year. We went during O-bon, a holy time in Japan, much like Dia de los Muertos or Memorial day. Certain temples were very crowded while others were quite empty like this one. This is me on the bridge at Heian-jingu.
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Kodai-ji
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Kodai-ji stairs
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Fishies!!!!!
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Chion incense holder.
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Another lantern, they're just so pretty.
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Nightingale floors of Nijo-jo
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Tree on wall at Nijo-jo
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Crane on the door of Nijo-jo
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Prayer tablets and sake bottles
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Bridge
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Pond at Heian-jingu
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Little creek at Heian-jingu
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Hanging plants
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Genkan of Heian-jingu
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Heian-jingu entrance
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Heian-jingu gate
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Wednesday, November 23, 2005

Jesus saves

My life has been hectic as of late, but I have some really wonderful friends that have stayed by my side helping me get through the crazy times. I'm gone from home so often, that I lean on friends I have at the times when my world goes wonky, but that doesn't mean I haven't forgotten my family and don't miss them terribly. I think I'd probably fall to pieces if I did have my family to lean on because it'd be too much. Anyway, I'm glad I have both when I need it.

No, I haven't become a devoutly religious person over all that's transpired recently, but I did get meet a Jesus look-a-like recently. His name is Juan, maybe that's his cousin... And amazingly he was born in Yakima and lived in Wapato when he was really little. Mom, we have no Ramirez in our family right? Hee, hee.. It's so refreshing to meet someone from home. You have no idea. It's just made me so happy to know that other people exist out there. (Sometimes I forget.) This Jesus-look-a-like has helped restored some recently lost faith that I have in the world in general and he did that by just existing and smiling. Funny. I know I'm just rambling now...

I went to a really neat festival in the middle of no where yesterday, we paid a few yen and got all you can eat BBQ. Whomever thinks Japanese people don't eat a lot hasn't seen them chopstick-fight for slabs of pork on a grill. After I went to lovely Costco to have fun shopping for American stuff in bulk. Man, do I miss going with mom, Jaime, and Lanie to Costco. I always think of you guys when I go.

I think kids have an innate ability to realize when things are wrong with you. I had to teach elementary school earlier this week and was quite down when I went but got such warm fuzzy feelings from my kids who were on a hug-a-thon this week. I almost wanted to cry when some of them dragged me down and were like, we love you! Maybe they just needed love too. Sometimes you just need a hug.

One teacher at one of my schools always comments on how many students at elementary schools feel unloved by their parents because they never see them or really communicate with them and that they really treat school as home. It's so sad sometimes. Teachers here have to deal with not only their students education but their mental well-being. It's amazing how they give so much of themselves to them.

This is really a happy post, please don't think I'm sad, I'm learning how to smile again.

Saturday, November 19, 2005

Men suck big time

Need I say more? All men cheat and lie, granted some women do too, but I don't date women so I really don't give a f*ck. What is important that I don't lie or cheat and I only find people who do. No, I take that back, I'm only interested or attracted to the one's who do. My Japanese boyfriend and I are done with for good. He's the biggest bastard I've ever met in my life. I've never been so shocked and betrayed by someone's behavior that I personally knew.

And that's all I have to say about that...

On the up-side, one I didn't end up with the a**hole and two, his actions make it much easier to hate and loathe him, instead of looking at the good times. I did have some good times. But when those good times get tainted with lies, it's easier to see everything horrible about that person and leave the cherishing behind.

Other things I've learned from this:

1.If you want to hit someone do it till your hand hurts.
2.If you don't want to hurt that someone, don't hit the wall or floor or anything hard, especially when you've been drinking.
3.If you've been drinking and you're trying to hit someone do it when they are trapped in a corner, it's hard for them to go anywhere, but be aware that because you've been drinking you will get bruises on your hand.
4.Don't contact the person or believe anything they say if they contact you. They didn't take a magic pill to make them stop lying.
5.Wishing that someone's genitalia falls off won't make it happen. But it's happy thought so hang on to that.
6.You won't die from this experience, although at times it may seem like you might, move on to the next a-hole.

Hopefully, there will be more happy posts soon to come. I love you all, or at least the good you'ses. Miss you much.


Oh wait, I remembered I'm going to Thailand from Dec 24 to Jan 6th!! Tanned beautiful skin here I come. I'm going on a yoga/meditation retreat, more than likely. Yea!! A well deserved vacation, those who pay attention to me more might get presents, starting now.... And we'll see.

Monday, November 14, 2005

Chahan takes forever...

I'm gonna attempt to write more seeing that I've been fairly busy (or lazy) and haven't had the time to e-mail my peeps. I'm at home right now waiting for my rice cooker to cook my damn rice so I can make some chahan- fried rice. Mmm, mmm good. I have a class in an hour and have to somehow get energy back to teach two classes of 30 children who are hopped up on rice and teach them shapes and sizes. Oh, the perils of my day. Today has been a fairly laid back day, but I'm pooped cause I've been going to bed too late. I know mom, don't do that, and I'll try not to k? Love you all, or most of you anyways and miss ya bunches.

Sorry these next few pics are so small, I forgot to resize before I took them. These are my best friends from Nagoya, Mu and Letisha, but *sob* Letisha went home to Australia to romp with kangaroos again. Here we are on my Expo trip to Nagoya again at Starbucks. It's just a convinient place to meet...
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I went to the World Expo held in Aichi prefecture, that was mainly held in Nagoya. It was gianormous and I was thouroughly pooped by the end of the day.
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Me and Tanaka outside of the Japanese pavilion, weaved of bamboo, I think.
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Tanaka with a woman from Yemen at the Yemen pavilion.
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This is a one person car, by Toyota. You get in and control it by a mouse looking thing on the arm rest.
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This is the stuffed cow I bought at Aso. He's my best bed buddy and his name is Mooty, or sometimes I call him Mo-mo-chan. (They say mo instead of moo in Japan.)
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Me at a watering hole in a town called Fuji. It's gorgeous but the water is freakin' cold.
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In August, I went to Mt. Aso, this sign was to warn people if they started to feel ill due to the sulfuric fumes they should get out of that area. Sorry I don't have more pictures, I only took a few on my phone.
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Yuki at Mt. Aso, it's so beautiful there but it was a cloudy day.
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Mom, you said you wanted a picture of my new haircut so here you go. I love this hair, actually. I got it colored too. Getting more Japanese day by day. This is the most expensive haircut I've ever gotten, so it better be nice.
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Halloween in Fukuoka standing in line waiting to go dancing. That's my friend Yuko she's very cool. I was the devil and she was Chinese. Just adorable aren't we?
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Strange picture, I wish I had a better picture of it. It's a really cool festival in a town called Imari. But I took this picture and thought it was cool. I promise to take better pictures next year and explain the festival better too.
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Beautiful Karatsu. It's a city 40 mins north from where I live.
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Nijo-jo grounds.
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Nijo-jo lantern.
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Nijo-jo moat.
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Pretty pond at Nijo-jo.
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Big rock at Nijo-jo.
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Nijo-jo grounds.
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Path at Nijo-jo.
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Trees at Nijo-jo.
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This is the old palace in Kyoto called Nijo-jo. I went there this August. Its grounds are beautiful.
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Me and my friend Mu last Christmas day. We went clubbing. T'was the season.
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Me last Christmas in Nagoya in front of Starbucks. It was a nice time although I had a cold.
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This is me earlier this year in high allergy season. This garden is huge and there are loads of azaleas everywhere, very pretty, but sneezy.
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