Starting over with everything..

I lived and worked in Japan for a long time and have come back in a time of economic and ever present family drama to try and gain a foothold in my so-called home country. Armed with nothing but dog fur, a crappy car, a laptop that hates me, I try to see how far I can get.

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sunday entertainment

Whenever it's on and whenever I catch it, I watch a Japanese show called 'TV Champion.' It's a game show that pits 4 or 5 people that have a certain area of expertise, ex. ice sculpting, minature model making, being able to name an animal by smell, scent, or touch only, etc... in timed events, until they narrow it down it the best two and finally the TV Champion.

I love this show, but today it pissed me off to no end. Today they were trying to find the number one nature guy. They had to do stuff like make a fire with no matches to light some fireworks, gather the most shellfish for dinner, shelter themselves, create a mini-onsen, etc... This old guy worked his ass off and was smarter than everyone else. He was 62 and would finish each event first and way before everyone else. But the very last event was whomever finished first was the winner, regardless of the points you had collected before. It was like watching people who are 90 finishing the Ironman contests. He would have won if not for one of his self made oars falling to bits when he started out to this island on his self-made raft. And he didn't win even though he had more points! Grrr. The other guy even cried because he said it was crazy how much harder and burly the old guy was. Why he really cried was because he won cowardly as he didn't win anything else.

Anyway, that's my rant for today. Next week on TV champion, fancy stylish kiddy fashion designers go head to head.

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

Another tooth bites the dust...

Cue the music! And another one down and another one down, another one bites the dust... Okay maybe not bites the dust (bad intro, my apologies), but another tooth got yanked out of my head. This one went soooo much better than the first tooth which took 20 minutes or so. And well, if you don't count yesterday.

Yesterday they shot me up with some potent stuff and then I kinda almost passed out for a while. The doc said I was going into shock, blood pressure dropped, body temp too, couldn't hang on to anything- very dramatic and ER-ish. Except you never seen anyone from ER getting brought back from beyond with an ice bag, fan, ice cold towel and cool dentist's chair to keep your head elevated. It really was one of the most enjoyable fainting spells of my life. They refused to pull the tooth because my blood pressure didn't get high enough and my hands were too cold.

However, today was a breeze. Boom, I get shot up with wonderful stuff. Boom he cuts around the tooth and I can't feel a thing. Boom, yank, yank and I was done! I loved it. I'm so happy to get that tooth out too. It caused me pain sometimes because it faced towards my cheek a bit. Like a backward snaggle. Anyway as exciting as my tooth extraction is to me, I'm sure it's not as interesting to ya'll. So to compensate, here is a little tooth humor:

A man & wife entered a dentist's office. The Wife said, "I want a tooth pulled. I don't want gas or Novocain because I'm in a terrible hurry. Just pull the tooth as quickly as possible."

You're a brave woman said the dentist. Now, Show me which tooth it is.

The wife turns to her husband and says, "Open your mouth and show the dentist which tooth it is, dear."

Ja, ja, ja.

Friday, August 18, 2006

Why I outta....

Damn I really dislike people sometimes. On a normal day, if there are clouds out you can see people with umbrella in hand ready for the first drop to hit. Yet on days when everyone knows there's a typhoon coming people don't bring umbrellas to the store and steal my sh~tuff. I saw the guy running to his car with my favorite umbrella and trying to get away as fast as he could. I was so tempted to bang on the window and yell bad things at him and take my umbrella back and beat him with it. I probably would have given him a heart attack if I'd said anything.

I didn't do anything but fume and wish him very ill will. I hope whatever he bought at YouMe Town makes him have explosive diarrhea. Is that too much to ask?It's the 4th umbrella I've had stolen. I shouldn't get hung up on things like that but when people look at me and their like,'ahhh, bikkuri!!!' then stare at me suspiciously I want to do things like steal their precious little umbrellas to get back at all those that have done me wrong, but I don't. I write out my frustration. GAH! Okay I'm done. 10... 9... 8....

Wednesday, August 09, 2006


Ay, ya yae! I feel like my mother more and more each day. Due to the summer lull in TV, I look forward to Sr. Estrada everyday. The only man I can stomach with a furry chest of hair and lat-fro, blinding white pearly teeth Day-um does that man look good in that tight police uniform.

Am I crazy in finding the adventures of CHiPs exciting today as they ever were? My brother Jaime had a CHiPs big wheel when he was a kid, man I loved that thing. It was the coolest! Real CHiPs stickers and everything. We wore the tires out to nubs. Good times, good times.

Okay, this post is not really that great, but was just watching it and thought I needed to write a post. Incidentally the episode I was watching had Carlos Santana in it as Ponch's primo. Locos.

Sunday, August 06, 2006

Marriage via phone

Today I get a phone call from a lady doing a survey.

Lady: Hello, I'm doing a survey for so and so hospital about the quality of water at hospitals.
Me: Mmm-hmm.
Lady: The issue of hopital water quality has been an issue in the news as of late, are you aware of this?
Me: No, I haven't heard about that.
Lady: Do you go to hospitals often?
Me: No, not really.
Lady: Oh how great! You must be very healthy. We find that people who don't go to hospitals often are in their early twenties or thirties. May I ask how old you are?
Me: I'm 26.
Lady: Oh well, no wonder, of course, 26.... Are you foreign??
Me: Yes...
Lady: Wow, I thought there was something different in your voice. How surprising! Your Japanese is great! Where are you from?
Me: America.
Lady: Wow, so you must be living and working in Japan, how long have you been here?
Me: 2 years.
Lady: Wow, how exciting! You teach in Japan?
Me: Yes, I d-
Lady: Great! A teacher. So, of course you're single?
Me: Um, (WTF?) yes, I am.
Lady: How about marrying a Japanese guy?
Me: Ah...
Lady: It's a good idea, I think.
Me: Lots of people tell me that.
Lady: There is a show on TV that showcases foreign weddings on TV.
Me: Yes, I've seen it before.
Lady: It seems so romantic! Don't you think?
Me: ahahaha
Lady: My son is single!
Me: ahahahahahaha
Lady: ahahaha, no really, he's single. Do you like Saga? Can you understand Saga-ben?
Me: Yes, I understand a little.
Lady: That's wonderful, hahaha. Thank you for your time.
Me: Mmm-hmm. Goodbye. *Whew*