Starting over with everything..

I lived and worked in Japan for a long time and have come back in a time of economic and ever present family drama to try and gain a foothold in my so-called home country. Armed with nothing but dog fur, a crappy car, a laptop that hates me, I try to see how far I can get.

Wednesday, February 28, 2007

Free at last, free at last!!!!!!!!!!!!

Oh good lordy, I have taught 16 elementary school classes in the past three days and today was my final day! Not only was it my final day this week, but it was my final day for a few months. At least two! Do you know what this means?!? It means I can come home from work not completely exhausted. It means, I don't have to sing and dance unless I'm drunk at home or elsewhere. It means, I don't have to constantly wash my hands because I won't come into contact with child boogies every 5 mins. It means, I'm free to be la-a-a-z-y! Yea!!!!!!! I love my kids, don't get me wrong, but it's fantastic, out of this world break considering I've taught anywhere from 8-16 elementary classes weekly (plus the occassional JHS class bringing my average class total to 18-20 every week) since the mid-October. Excluding the time I was in the US, oh glorious US. I'm gonna Tae Bo now.

Thursday, February 22, 2007


I'm sooooo glad it's Friday. Not that I've had a particularly hard week or anything. I just find lately that I have an inclination towards not working that makes me look forward to the weekend as if it were Christmas. The weekends are a time for me to sleep in til 8:30, lounge in my pjs and eat peaches out of cans while watching American Choppers and theories on anthrax in the mail. Bliss, sheer bliss!!

However, lately I haven't been able to sleep really well for thinking about what I want to buy or how I'm going to redecorate my living room. I think of color schemes, making chair covers, spring cleaning. I threw 4 large garbage bags of things from my front room. Remnants of many years of teachers living in my house are strewn all over that front room. The majority is crap that the previous girl from England thought I might appreciate, things like: David and Victoria, an Invitation to the Wedding (David Beckham and Posh Spice's wedding, with full color exciting photos), coloring books about London, business cards of people she met, spy novels that a 4th grader wouldn't be tempted to read, etc... Most of that stuff is now in the garbage, hurray!! Is it sad that I can't wait to go home and clean something or move something into a new box or storage unit? Maybe I should get out more...

Monday, February 19, 2007

Poop socks

Arriving at my elementary school today, the kids are busily cleaning the school as normal. I notice a group of kids huddled around something mysterious. Soon after a teacher shoos them away saying, 'there's nothing to see here, go to class' After I glance over to what the kids are walking away from, I see a turd wrapped up in tissue. (Cue, dry heaving motion.) Where the poop came from I haven't a clue and frankly I think I'm better off not knowing.

So I go to class and everything is going great until the game ends and the kids sit down. I then hear a kid in the corner yelling, "Ah!!!! UNCHI!!! UNCHI!!! UNCHI!!!" (Turd, turd, turd!) and pointing to a mushed brown spot on the carpet. Sure enough, the mysterious poop from the hallway made it's way inside my classroom. The girl next to the boy starts screaming too as she now has poopie on her socks. (We're not allowed to wear shoes in that classroom) So she takes her socks off and puts them in a heap and stares at them disgusted. (I find that a bit ironic considering she was picking her nose for most of class and regularly scratches herself, but I would do the same probably.) Everyone checks there own socks and sitting area and I make everyone move to the right. I make the boy who first spotted the poop stand-up and let me see the back of his pants to make sure he hasn't any poop smudges on the back of his pants. After the crisis was averted, we went to our drawing activity, while their homeroom teacher dashed outside to get poop cleaning supplies. I'm so happy I don't have to clean it.

After class, the girl with poop socks tries to leave them there, but another girl picks them up very carefully and tells her to take them. The other girl, screams and says, "No way!" to which her friend, her true friend I might add because there would've been no way I'd pick up poopie socks in the third grade, says "But they're your socks!" Then she responds with, "So what, they have poop on them!" I think I'm nodding slightly in agreement. The other girl said, "just put 'em in the washer and they'll be good as new." Cue the other girl running out of the room. See why I like teaching the 3rd grade?

Fashionable in the 3rd grade

Today I was reminiscing about my favorite outfits in the third grade. One was a lovely turquoise/ borderline teal blue sweatpant outfit (blue sweatshirt and sweatpants) from K-mart or maybe JCPenny's am not sure. And another was my acid washed jeans (I'm an 80's child, gimmie a break) with my white turtleneck and green v-neck preppy sweater accompanied by a high side ponytail. Ah a vision, was I. And lastly my puffy paint smiley-face sweater that said, 'Don't worry' on the front and 'Be happy' on the back. Worn of course with the afore mentioned jeans and white turtleneck. Stylin'.

Today as I was teaching one of my favorite 3rd grade classes (3rd grade is my favorite grade to teach) I got several compliments on my outfit and hair today. Peachy button-up shirt with jeans, blue socks with white dogs on them (we can't wear shoes in the room I teach) and a headband to try and tame my hair from the monstrosity of a pouf it was in the morning. I felt really nice when these little kids all came to agreement on my outfit. Little kids who have bears and hearts and rabbits on their shirts. They sure as hell dress a lot better than me in the 3rd grade. I am perfectly contented to be a fashionista in the 3rd grade. May all of you have good hair day tomorrow. With that I leave you with a happy song.

Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Happy Valentine's Day

Here's hoping you don't get your car stuck in a ditch, right in front of your workplace (causing your vice principal to make an announcement of your stupidity and ask for male volunteers to witness your stupidity) like I did this morning. This is a wish I have for you everyday, but I really mean it on Valentine's day. At least, as my co-worker said, I'm having a good hair day.

Sunday, February 11, 2007

Sweet, sweet rest!

Good lordy has this been a good weekend! Sleep, sleep, sleep! I missed it sooooo much. Sorry for this being such a lame post, but I feel like a thousand dollars. (I don't know what a million of anything feel like so I find it better to stick to familiar sayings.) I slept the majority of the three day weekend, partially because I'm sick, partially because I was exhausted from work and etc, etc.. I'm all good now. And I'm off to get some food Yea!!!!!!!!!!

Tuesday, February 06, 2007


While teaching a first grade class a Valentine's day lesson, I got some unexpected replies. (Mind you that first graders are 6 or 7 years old.) While showing this card

I asked what they thought was going on in the card. (My intended meaning was "LOVE") I got these answers, in Japanese:

One mouse likes the other one!
That mouse owes the other one money!
He's giving her a present!
They're hungry!

After explaining, that it was supposed to represent "love," I asked what they thought the meaning of "love" to be:


Rabu-rabu! (translated as reciprocated love)

SEX! (with gestures)


Sometimes it's hard to maintain a straight face...

Home Part II

Back to Seattle..

in search for the 12th man
I found some hippies...

who took me to a groovy cupcake place.
I really don't remember how I ended up home...

Or how I ended up with drink after drink in my hand...

Or how the hell I ended up with these pictures...
I blame this cat... and maybe the cupcakes.
Good cupcakes.. mmm.
I managed to find my longtime crush at a bar...
Maybe we'll look back at this photo at our wedding.
HA! Joking, joking... sigh.