Starting over with everything..

I lived and worked in Japan for a long time and have come back in a time of economic and ever present family drama to try and gain a foothold in my so-called home country. Armed with nothing but dog fur, a crappy car, a laptop that hates me, I try to see how far I can get.

Monday, January 23, 2006

Bagels.. the devil incarnate???

Ever since watching "Supersize me" I am very aware that bagels among other fast food are very bad for me, but oooh goodness are they ever good tasting. Aren't they like 5 times the bread serving your supposed to have in a day? Oye, I don't even want to think about it. I'm slightly stressed because I have to give a workshop tomorrow about re-contracting for teachers in the program I'm in. I'm really just tired of having responsibilities that have to deal with planning workshops and giving speeches and crap. The helping people part I don't mind.. After this conference I should be home free. MMMMMM cheese bagels... Costco would be on devil list too, if there weren't so many useful and wonderful things there. Just for the laundry aisle alone... I love the smell of laundry.

Sorry I have no point to this post, just felt I should write. I had a really wonderful day yesterday. I woke up in such a good mood. I got dressed in cute Thailand clothes and wento teach a kids' English conversation class with a 7 and 4 year old, man are they cute. I especially love the little one as he's just a cute little angel (okay, going to far, but very cute none the less) and his brother who's just an English phenom and cute too. He tries really hard to impress me and even lets his brother win on purpose sometimes! How cute is that? I'll take pics of them this week.

Ugh, I feel ragged, but I felt so good yesterday. It wasn't too cold and it was so clear out. I love driving on days like that. I went swimming for an hour, I had a good day in general. Then there are days like today, not particularly bad, but busy and I feel like poo that's been sandwiched in the tread of a shoe. Eh, I even went shopping to try and cure my ill demeanor but that didn't really help. I'll try to get to bed earlier tonight. Still having bouts of insomnia. If anyone has some suggestions (besides drinking) to cure insomnia I'd love to hear them. Good night.

Thursday, January 19, 2006

Crystal ball?

On a tip from a friend I am now watching a movie that will epitomize my future as an adult. No, I don't feel that I've reached full adulthood yet. Must love dogs, or in Japanese, Ideal Lovers/Sweethearts.com will be my sad but comical love life, minus the adorable John Cusack and sap happy ending, plus the hanging out wiht gay guys and drinking wine. *sigh* Moments of self pity, I'm allowed that much right? I'm actually in a wonderful frame of mine, and to get here I must wallow first to get to the good stuff.

I got a package from home today and my momma's the sweetest person on earth I tell ya. She loves me and at times when you feel unwanted I guess that it's easier than I'd like to think to forget about the people who really love you no matter how big of an idiot you are. That's love that's enduring and everlasting. I'm also pretty happy cause I feel like I'm starting to get my butt in gear and actually do what I've been meaning to do. My momma also reminded me of that, but I swear the woman is always in my head because I've had bouts of insomnia that revolved around the same things she wrote to in a card in the package.

I know I'm making no sense right now, but it's in these non-sensical times when true genius is born. Ha ha ha, even I think that's funny. Must have been the two month old baklava. Delish! I'm going to bed now and no, I haven't even been drinking!

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Lucky stars

I came back from Thailand almost a week ago now. I came back healthy, feeling good and more importantly alive. I received a bit of a shock when people started asking me if I had heard about the tourist from the UK that was raped and killed on Lamai beach on New Year's Eve. In fact, I hadn't heard one thing. I don't know if that was because they found her body on the 2nd and I left the island on the 3rd, but at any rate just the thought of it gave me chills.

I stayed on Lamai beach, it being the 2nd most popular beach on Koh Samui and wanted to go out desperately on New Year's Eve. I got dressed in a nice dress I had bought in Bangkok, put make-up on, did my hair, put some snazzy earrings on and I thought I looked pretty nice. A friend of mine even took pictures, which I have up in my Thailand pictures. I went down to the beach where there were parties up and down the shore.

The party at my resort was kind of more family-esque and I wanted to go dancing, so I walked along the beach by myself for a while looking for something going on. I was still fasting and couldn't drink either but I just wanted to be out. Most areas around the beach were pretty quiet. I walked in the dark in bits but I didn't mind. I remember seeing a bunch of birds flying, which I thought was strange because it was night and all, and I felt uneasy after that and went back to my part of the beach. I talked with some people and most of the people I had become friends with were staying in and calling it an early night. One of them said, you look so nice, you should go out to the clubs on Lamai.

I had considered it but changed my mind for three reasons. One, I had to move resorts the next day and needed to pack-up my stuff and two, I didn't want to pay for a taxi to go there and was a bit afraid to walk on the main road at night (It was about a 15 min walk) and three, I got really tired because I had been waking up at 6:30 everyday. Hearing all that happened to the girl that night really freaked me out because it wasn't so much the case she was drinking as she was just talking to her mom on the phone.

It's just dumb luck isn't it? It makes me really thank God that I didn't go. I feel really sad for the girl and her family, but I can't help but feel oddly lucky and grateful for turning in and having a normal night with no excitement. It also made me angry that this news wasn't posted all over Lamai. I understand how the locals wouldn't want people to leave, but I feel like this kind of news should have been given out to everyone ASAP. I guess it'll make me think twice before going out on my lonesome.

Sunday, January 08, 2006

Thailand pictures.

So these are some pictures of Thailand. Sorry there are so many, I left off some of the initial pictures, but hopefully there are pretty much in order. Mom, if you want any more, lemme know. You get to see my haircut, ugh, I dyed it dark again because I couldn't live with the carrot color it became. Anyway, hope you all enjoy.

Is it any wonder I went to Samui for the fast if this was my view every morning when I woke up and went to the beach for meditaiton. Ah... Om...
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View of Koh Samui from the butterfly garden.
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I got to go to a butterfly garden when I was there, definitely one of the coolest things I did on the island.
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Pretty.
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This poor little guy got his wing chomped on by a bird.
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Caterpillars.
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I took this and the next picture on the 26th of December, the one year anniversary of the Tsunami. Everywhere you can still see evidence of the destruction the tsunami created. However as the next picture shows the Thai people are still rebuilding their lives together.
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Pretty.
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There was construction everywhere.
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Markets on Koh Samui.
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My last meal before the fast.
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The beach in front of the restaurant.
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My first room at the resort on Samui.
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Me on New Year's feeling healthy and fabulous a friend of mine took this picture and then I went down to the beach to party for a bit before going to bed like an old granny. Hey, it takes a lot of sleep and water to look this good.
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My second resort on Koh Samui had my own hammock and even two beds! Not to mention a beautiful view.
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Two women monks (?) gossiping in the temple.
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People praying at a temple a few days after New Year's.
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Restaurant stand.
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I got bored while I was in Bangkok so I went on a tour of the ancient city of Ayutthaya, a former capital of Thailand when it was the country of Siam. I couldn't understand the tour guide's explaination of this other than to say that there was many styles of architecture that where in Siam because the "Thai people" were not totally united and came from different parts of the region. I believe he said this was of Cambodian style architecture.
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Me.
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Buddhas.
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Drawing on the wall.
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Gold leafed picture in the temple.
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Grounds around the Palace.
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Temples with Buddhas.
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The place of the big golden Buddha.
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Ruins of the Royal Palace.
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Huge Buddha outside of the ruins of the Royal Palace.
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A sign to Wat Khok, I'm not saying anything else...
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I got to pet and feed a baby elephant!!! So cute.
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I forget what this was called, but it's dressed in yellow to represent Buddhist law or the Buddhist religion. All this according to my tour guide.
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Lions
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Me in Ayutthaya.
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Me in Ayutthaya.
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This was a head of Buddha that was found hidden under a tree, 100 years after the invasion of the Burmese during an excavation of ruins of one of the largest monasteries of the time. They supposed that it was hidden by some monks during or right before the invasion.
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School children at ruins of a temple in Ayutthaya.
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Ruins of the monastery. All the heads and the hands of Buddha were destroyed by the Burmese.
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Ruins of a monastery.
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Khao Sarn Rd in Bangkok on Christmas day. This is the only way I remembered what day it was.
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7-UP bottle.
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A Bangkok Christmas.
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Sawadee-ka Mickey D's.
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Decorations for the tree.
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My first drink of the trip, my last night there.
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Thursday, January 05, 2006

The long road home

Today will never end. I am still in Bangkok, anxiously awaiting for time to come for me to leave. Bangkok is nice if you want to shop, inhale a lifetime's worth of smog, get cheap good food or massages, get a butch haircut, want to get it on with an Thai girl or boy-girl... things like this; but I have been here way too long. I can't believe I've only been here 2 and a half days.. I leave tonight and will be grateful to arrive to the freezing warmth of Saga.

I am craving Japanese food (a smidgen). I miss my bed. I miss my car. I miss fixing my own food. I know it's only two weeks and if I were on another island, trust me I wouldn't miss anything but my car (maybe) but I feel like I'm going a bit crazy.

I had a good trip. I feel really healthy (save the fries I had a bit ago and the pizza I intend on ordering at the airport) and am really motivated to make some small but meaningful changes in my life health-wise, mentally, goal-wise, etc... I don't really feel like I celebrated the holidays, but that's okay I'll celebrate some other year, God willing. I'll post loads of pictures, hopefully not of the same thing when I get back. Hope everyone is alive and kicking and well.

Sunday, January 01, 2006

FOOOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!

Oh sweet heavens above, I can eat! I'm done with shoving things up my bum and taking suppliments and drinks instead of food. Not that it wasn't worth it, I feel good and healthy and better about myself, but I'm happy to be back in the eating world. Especially because this resort has one of the most delicious raw food and vegitarian / organic food round these parts. (Franny, you'd love this place, sooo much vegan food and good too!)

Ironically my stomach has been evil and doesn't want to let me eat... However I'm trying to employ a mind over stomach technique to get a little food down. I have one last yoga class *sigh* and I'm quite sad about that, but ce la vie, I'll try and keep it up back home. I leave Koh Samui and go to Bangkok for 2 more days tomorrow morning and then off to good ole Japan. *sigh* I have mixed feelings about leaving but for mine and my wallet's sake I should get the hell out of here ASAP. I'll probably not write until I get back to Japan. Hope you all had a good New Years.