Starting over with everything..

I lived and worked in Japan for a long time and have come back in a time of economic and ever present family drama to try and gain a foothold in my so-called home country. Armed with nothing but dog fur, a crappy car, a laptop that hates me, I try to see how far I can get.

Friday, November 10, 2006

Spider vs Human

Holy moley! I just killed or maybe just injured the biggest spider I have ever seen inside a house. This was even bigger than the spider that was the size of my hand on the back of my couch and I had to call Dayo to come across town to kill with a half can of raid. I was gonna catch it in a party cup first, I try not to kill animals, just talk them down from the ledge and the hell outta my house, but I realized it was wayyyy too small for the freakin thing and had to empty my trash can to catch it after a 20 minute stuggle. My neighbors are probably gonna leave me a nasty note for screaming twice as it dodged the trash can two times. I lost it for a bit, but was gonna tear up my house if I couldn't find it, so thanks to a handy flashlight I found it's beady ass eyes mad-doggin' me. I say, nah-uh (mother's accent kickin' in) GET DA HELL OUDA MY HOUSE, PINCHE CABRONE! I sprayed it, ran, I sprayed and kicked things around to make it go outside and it went further inside unfazed by the deadly spray which is now giving me a headache. Right before it got into the kitchen I trash canned it. I could hear it moving trying to get out. I almost died. After internally screaming for 6 mins or so, I managed to get something over it and got it off the wall. I breathed, but then the top came off I screamed again, said NO WAY YOU'RE GETTING OUT! and opened the screen door then kicked trash can and top outside and slammed the door shut. I hope it burns in spider hell. It's got all of outside to chill, why's it gotta be up in my shit, bugging me on a Friday night?

Sometimes I think it maybe easier to kill or beat an intruder than to kill a spider, bug or creepy crawly thing. Aaah, I have phantom spider chills. Fa&kin' spider, rot!!!!!!


  • At 5:55 AM , Blogger karen said...

    holy shit, exactly how big was this spider? was it furry with big tarantula legs? I found baby spiders under the heel of some shoes I haven't worn for awhile, and now i'm on the look out for the big momma who owns them... and you've got me worried as to what I might find!!!

  • At 2:02 AM , Blogger sarah said...

    Good news and bad news. I told this story at school today. Everyone nodded their head in acknowledgement and the nurse told me that this is the season for this kind of spider and to watch out for more. But good news is that this spider supposidly doesn't bite and isn't poisonous. Bad news, after I made sure they said it didn't bite, the cook said, yea they don't bite, but cockroaches do. What?? Must clean house.


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